What kind of feeling is that, I really feel like I've already lost the little creative part in me under the pressure of work and life, it's keep happening everyday, I open my workshop trying to make something out and ened up screening out in something else, my memory is currepted I barely remember my famly members, for the last few months I get breakdown weekend and go through a strong depression state, I feel like shit really, I know that soon I'll be travelling to Ottawa in Canada to continue my graduate study, and I'm sure that this suppose to make me happy somehow, but WTF I feel none , I almost got cold deep inside whcih is not helping, I used to feel and observe things eah day to create somethng out of it, to reflect it , to reform it through my feelings, and some others time I create concepts through imagination, I used to live in a world of creativity and design, why now I can't pronaunce a word well, I don't like this at all, my life is just an icon of routin slavery, you wake up each day with low activity, you go to work everyone is throwing responsibilities to your face, you go back home everyone is blaming you for the things you pile undone each day, I wanna break through, alas, I'm done.

I remember being a little student in the university, no enough cash, no responsibilities and spending my life regardless to the concept of time, but living a fucking life.


eeeeh my soul keep mourning, I really feel bad about it all, this is affecting everything, my character as well, which is the core to everything I reflect, lets hope things will turn out to end peacefully.